考研作文中句子如何修改润色?

  在考研英语写作中评卷人往往特别重视作文的遣词造句是否高级,为此,不少作文模板应运而生,但这些模板很容易被生搬硬套,而且有被用滥的趋势,使用效果并不好。实际上,比使用模板更好的方法是对常用的句式进行修改变换,使得普通的句子看起来更有高级感。下面是一些常见的润色技巧:
 
  1.如何将短句变长
 
  考研作文特别强调句式多样,句子长短错落有致,为了做到这一点,我们可以通过分词、从句、介词或形容词词组等形式将若干简单句整合为长句,这样不仅能使句与句之间的联系更加紧密,而且还能增强整篇文章的逻辑性和连贯性。举一个考研图画题的例子:
 
  我们可以先用几个简单句来描述图中的现象:
 
  (1) A father is sitting on the ground.
 
  (2) He is surrounded by his three sons and one daughter.
 
  (3) They guard the net like a goalkeeper.
 
  (4) They have kicked him back and forth like a football.
 
  接下来我们需要将这几个简单句整合为一个复合句。先确定最核心的成分,写出主句:
 
  In the picture we can see a father sitting on the ground.
 
  接下来再根据逻辑关系将第二句接上:
 
  In the picture we can see a father sitting on the ground, surrounded by his three sons and one daughter.
 
  使用定语从句接上第三句和第四句:
 
  In the picture we can see a father sitting on the ground, surrounded by his three sons and one daughter who guard the net like a goalkeeper and who have kicked him back and forth like a football.
 
  最后再加上其他的修饰成分,比如可以用elderly来修饰父亲,用forlornly来形容父亲孤零零地坐在地上的状态,同时对句子进行微调:like a goalkeeper与like a football用法有点重复,可以考虑将like a football改为as if he were a football,最后得到的句子是:
 
  In the picture we can see an elderly father sitting forlornly on the ground, surrounded by his three sons and one daughter who guard the net like a goalkeeper and who have kicked him back and forth as if he were a football.
 
  在图画作文开头描述画面时可以考虑采用这种方法对普通句进行整合,但在整合句式的时候要特别注意不要犯低级的语法错误,否则会适得其反。
 
  2.去掉there be句型
 
  There be 句型很容易使用,但也很容易被滥用。在考场作文中我们可以见到大量there be 引导的句子,但它们绝大多数可以精简。很多同学喜欢在考研图画作文的第一段用there be句型来描述图画中的内容,例如:
 
  There is an American girl who wears a traditional Chinese dress in the picture.
 
  我们可以将句子改为:
 
  The picture depicts an American girl wearing a traditional Chinese dress.
 
  又比如:
 
  There are widespread rumours of job losses.
 
  可以改写为:
 
  Rumours of job losses abound.
 
  there be 句型一般表示“某地有某物”,在修改时,可以使用一个恰当的动词进行替换(比如上面句子中的 abound )。
 
  再比如:
 
  There were more foreign students in the classroom than the natives.
 
  可以改写为:
 
  Foreign students outnumbered the natives in the classroom.
 
  除了去掉 there be 结构之外,这里还使用 outnumber 来代替 more...than... 这一个比较结构。类似的词还有 outlive, outshine, outclass, outgrow, outperform 等。
 
  3.替换if从句
 
  If从句意为“如果……那么……”,这一句型在考研写作中有大量应用。我们同样可以采用一些技巧将if从句进行变换。举个例子:
 
  If we fail to solve environmental problems, future generations will suffer.
 
  可以将if we fail to do something替换为名词表达failure to do something,同时对相应的动词进行词性变换,这样可以让句子结构更加紧凑,表达效果更好:
 
  Failure to solve environmental problems will cause/result in the suffering of future generations.
 
  再举个例子:
 
  If the government intervenes, house prices will decrease.
 
  可以将If the government intervenes改为名词形式government intervention,句子可以改为:
 
  Government intervention will push down house prices.
 
  4.替换although/even though从句
 
  受中文表达习惯影响,很多人容易将although/even though与but连用,避免出现这一问题的方法是对它们进行替换,这样在句式上也会更加多样。举个例子:
 
  Although the city has many problems, it is still the best place for the young and ambitious.
 
  我们可以用despite/in spite of+名词表达的形式来代替although从句:
 
  In spite of / despite its many problems, the city is still the best place for the young and ambitious.
 
  又比如:
 
  Although he did not receive formal education, he is a good actor and director.
 
  我们可以将它改为:
 
  He is a good actor and director in spite of his lack of formal education.
 
  5.省略关系代词
 
  除了 there be 句型之外,定语从句在考场作文中的使用频率也非常高。但从简洁性的角度考虑,绝大多数的定语从句同样可以精简,比如:The picture depicts an American girl who wears a traditional Chinese dress. 可以改为:The picture depicts an American girl wearing a traditional Chinese dress.
 
  又比如:
 
  From childhood, he had an instinct that made him excited and interested in all things which were electronic.
 
  可以改写成:
 
  From childhood, he had an instinctive feel for all things electronic.
 
  这里将关系代词 which 以及 that 省略,并且原句中 made him excited and interested in 语义重复,可以使用 instinctive feel 来代替。
 
  同时,我们可以使用非谓语形式来对一些定语从句进行替换。举个例子:
 
  Because of traffic congestion, commuters have to spend long hours on the road, which leads to lost productivity.
 
  可以将which leads to…这部分替换为现在分词形式leading to… 即:
 
  Because of traffic congestion, commuters have to spend long hours on the road, leading to lost productivity.
 
  在写作时可以尝试着将不必要的关系代词删除,或者将其转换为分词结构或名词词组,这样会更加简洁有力。
 
  6.转换词性
 
  英语中有一部分单词具有多重词性,巧妙利用词性转换,可以起到更好的表达效果。举个例子,要表达“他在上海度假”,我们可能会写 He goes on holiday in Shanghai.
 
  但其实还可以写成 He holidays in Shanghai. 这里将 holiday 作为动词使用,含义是“在……度假”。
 
  又比如:
 
  (1) Arthur Ashe is the captain of the U.S. team.
 
  (2) Mr Li, who teaches creative writing at Yale University, is extremely funny and psychologically observant, but he does not believe in happy endings.
 
  上面句子可以改写为:
 
  (1) Arthur Ashe captains the U.S. team.
 
  (2) Mr Li, who teaches creative writing at Yale University, is extremely funny and psychologically observant, but he is no believer in happy endings.
 
  第一个句子使用 captain 的动词义“率领”,人物形象更为有力。第二个句子使用 believe 的名词形式 believer,这样语气更为强烈。
 
  各位同学可以对照上面的几个原则对自己的作文进行修改润色,在考试前的最后几天时间里多加练习,力求熟能生巧。最后祝各位考出好成绩。

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